Out of the slump

Well, it took a while.  I wasn't even sure if I was ever going to come out of it.  I was pretty low for the last month, that's why I didn't blog.  I don't know if it was sadness after being back in SF, or just a hormonal thing...or just life.  But I was pretty down. My practice wasn't inspiring me - at all.  I was dragging my ass through it.  I was doubting my relationship with the BF,doubting nearly everything in my life.  And trying not to deal with it.  I didn't want to acknowledge it.  I was afraid of spiralling down a slippery slope into depression.  So I soldiered on. And I know that this is going against a lot of new age psychology, but I do believe that we can be too navel gazing.  That we attach too much importance to our thoughts and feelings.  They're transient.  Ok, I know that I can't speak for everyone, and I'm not trying to.  I'm talking about me. And my experience is that I over-analyze things.  Eternally asking "why".  Some of that is healthy, too much and you'll turn into a  basket case.  I know. I've done it.  So this time, I continued on with life.  Didn't stop to ask "why....how....when".  I had faith I guess that this will pass. 

  Reading back over that, I can see that others might misinterpret.  I'm not advocating denying anything is wrong, just that there are times that the best option is to sit it out.  Stop navel gazing.  Stop thinking that we have a  right to be happy all the time.  We don't. So deal with it.

On a lighter note, my practice is back on track.  After a few weeks of dragging myself through, I'm finally enjoying it.  Part of the reason is that we finally have a  Mysore programme up and running in this country! Yahoo!  Unfortunately, I live about 90km away, so am only going to go three times a  week. But that's cool. I do enjoy home practice, but definitely enjoy/need the group energy of  a Mysore class.  That buoys me up for the rest of my practices.  I don't get that many adjustments in a class, but it's fun to do assisted backbending again. I haven't quite mastered the art of grabbing my ankles by myself, so I haven't done that in a  while.  But even without an teacher, it's jut so nice to be practicing with others again.  I fly through my practice on those days. And it's kind of enjoyable getting up at 5am, being on the road at 5.30.  But this could be the newbie's enthusiasm, I might be feeling quite different in a couple of months.  But for the moment, I really like sitting in my car, listening to Jai Uttal, with my cup of tea beside me.  I feel like a yoga secret police  Undercover, going to my saddhana, while others are heading in to the office.  That was a  shock actually.  I thought I'd have the roads to myself, but no, the commuters are already on the move.  At 5.30am!!! Shocking. I tell you, I have a lot of respect for the ashtangi's that do their morning practice, then head in for a  full days work.  I've never held an office job, never done the whole 9-5 thing. Respect to those that do.