Ah, this is why we do it

Practice today was a  surprise.  I was on a limited time frame as I had set my alarm for the wrong time, so I knew that I didn't have time for any zoning out.  So I did my pranayama, then after the opening chant I dedicated my practice to my aunt who is very sick, and repeated my 'focus' mantra. Oh the start of my practice was so stiff.  One of those where touching my toes seems impossible.  Even after the full 10 sun salutes I still felt like I was made of concrete.  But I soldiered on, catching my awareness when it had drifted and coming back to the breath.  Even krounchasana felt foreign.  But still I continued. Enjoying the focus and rhythm of my breath, I resigned my self to a stiff practice and just enjoyed it regardless. Kapotasana I just touched my toes as I wimped out of pushing myself  any further.  Hey there have to be some benefits to a home practice! The LBH poses were, surprise surprise, stiff. I also took it relatively easy on myself for eka pada, I held the foot in place on both sides as I didn't want to strain my neck/shoulder any more. But again I managed to kind of jump into the pose which is great. A wee bit of progress is always appreciated. The tittibhasana sequence floored me as I haven't done it since Thursday and I find it so tough.  I just want to lie on the floor in a foetal position after doing it.  But pincha mayurasana was a surprise.  I actually kicked up without the wall and hed it for 8 breaths! Now that was just a fluke, but it shows it is possible. Then dropbacks were actually nice.  By really tucking in my tailbone, drawing shoulders down the back, and arching my chest as though going over a  beach ball, I can feel the lower back lengthen and it doesn't pinch. I'm also doing this thing that an Iyengar teacher told me to do, which is once I've arched back, to stretch my arms overhead  and hang there for a moment, and I can really feel the psoas muscle stretch doing that.  It also makes my descent much more controlled, and keeps it in my legs, so that when I go to come up, I'm using my quads rather than relying on feet turning out.  Ah so lovely! 

So after my practice I felt great.  Nothing spectacular about it, it was a  stiff practice, but I felt so centered after it.  Mind was quiet, and I just felt that connection to the universal. Must remember : more focus = happy practice. And it really brought it home to me, that it really doesn't matter about the physical appearance of the asana. We don't need to strive for a  better looking practice, or yearn for the next posture.  We need to connect to the practice on the subtle level, and therein lies the beauty of the ashtanga practice.