Peter Sanson workshops rule!

Peter Sanson was here for 4 days, doing a workshop. I had heard great things about him, and was interested to see what he was like.  Well for once, everyone is right.  He's wonderful.  If you ever get a chance, go study with him.  His Mysore classes were good, great adjustments, not too strong, just insightful. He would not let anyone away with sloppiness in practice, so would berate you in good humour. But it was the talk that he gave yesterday that really blew me away. I'll try and remember the gist of what he said, but this is just my recollection, so don't take it as gospel.

He started off by telling us how he first experienced ashtanga in Mysore.  Guruji took a look at him and told him that he would teach him privately, upsatirs above the old shala.  There was just Peter and one other Indian woman.  Guruji taught him very slowly.  First week was surya a.  second week, surya b. Then slowly the standing postures. Only when Guruji thought that Peter could get a good grasp on a posture was he moved on to the next posture. And that is how he learnt the forst 4 series.  Slowly, one posture at a time, from Guruji. Amazing. Peter was saying he now believes that it was a blessing to have learnt ashtanga this way, as it is a safe way for the body to open up. He believes that people are now racing through the series, grasping at postures.  That is why so many people are injured, or exhausted.  This is what really connected with me.  He described the practice as  a prana building exercise.  The whole time during your practice, you need to be aware of your prana/energy levels.  As soon as you feel your prana dipping, you need to stop.   Otherwise you won't be able to sustain this practice for life, you'll have to stop, as you can't do the rest of your life and an exhausting practice.  If you feel your prana building, than you know that you're on the right track.  He believes that 7 years per series is a good average. Feel steady and at ease in each posture before moving to the next. It really struck a cord with me. So today in practice, I made that my focus. Steady, deep breath.  Staying connected to my energy.  And you know, it worked. Usually by the time that I get to bakasana b I'm ready to collapse in a heap, find it hard to breathe. Not today.  Sure kapotasana could hardly be described as peaceful, but overall my energy was great.  It felt like a very different practice.  I  felt fantastic after.  Sometimes after doing practice, particularly once I started 2nd, I can feel almost jittery high.  All that nerve cleansing I guess. But today was just prana flowing through. Clear nadis. Fantastic.  

 Another point he made was that every day he's excited to start his practice.  Excited to see how his first sun salute will be. And that is how to approach your practice.  Don't be mentally racing ahead, thinking of what's coming. Start at the beginning.  Stay in the present, with the breath. And also he reminded us that the sun salutes are about  paying repect, a humbling practice.  So thank you Peter.  You've given me back the beauty of my practice

Out of the slump

Well, it took a while.  I wasn't even sure if I was ever going to come out of it.  I was pretty low for the last month, that's why I didn't blog.  I don't know if it was sadness after being back in SF, or just a hormonal thing...or just life.  But I was pretty down. My practice wasn't inspiring me - at all.  I was dragging my ass through it.  I was doubting my relationship with the BF,doubting nearly everything in my life.  And trying not to deal with it.  I didn't want to acknowledge it.  I was afraid of spiralling down a slippery slope into depression.  So I soldiered on. And I know that this is going against a lot of new age psychology, but I do believe that we can be too navel gazing.  That we attach too much importance to our thoughts and feelings.  They're transient.  Ok, I know that I can't speak for everyone, and I'm not trying to.  I'm talking about me. And my experience is that I over-analyze things.  Eternally asking "why".  Some of that is healthy, too much and you'll turn into a  basket case.  I know. I've done it.  So this time, I continued on with life.  Didn't stop to ask "why....how....when".  I had faith I guess that this will pass. 

  Reading back over that, I can see that others might misinterpret.  I'm not advocating denying anything is wrong, just that there are times that the best option is to sit it out.  Stop navel gazing.  Stop thinking that we have a  right to be happy all the time.  We don't. So deal with it.

On a lighter note, my practice is back on track.  After a few weeks of dragging myself through, I'm finally enjoying it.  Part of the reason is that we finally have a  Mysore programme up and running in this country! Yahoo!  Unfortunately, I live about 90km away, so am only going to go three times a  week. But that's cool. I do enjoy home practice, but definitely enjoy/need the group energy of  a Mysore class.  That buoys me up for the rest of my practices.  I don't get that many adjustments in a class, but it's fun to do assisted backbending again. I haven't quite mastered the art of grabbing my ankles by myself, so I haven't done that in a  while.  But even without an teacher, it's jut so nice to be practicing with others again.  I fly through my practice on those days. And it's kind of enjoyable getting up at 5am, being on the road at 5.30.  But this could be the newbie's enthusiasm, I might be feeling quite different in a couple of months.  But for the moment, I really like sitting in my car, listening to Jai Uttal, with my cup of tea beside me.  I feel like a yoga secret police  Undercover, going to my saddhana, while others are heading in to the office.  That was a  shock actually.  I thought I'd have the roads to myself, but no, the commuters are already on the move.  At 5.30am!!! Shocking. I tell you, I have a lot of respect for the ashtangi's that do their morning practice, then head in for a  full days work.  I've never held an office job, never done the whole 9-5 thing. Respect to those that do. 

Back to the Golden Gate of memories

Ah where have I been? I hear you ask.  Well, last week I left this Emerald Isle to travel to the Golden Gate city -i.e San Francisco.  I used to live there, but haven't been back in 5 years. It was amazing to be back.  I lived there for 4 years, and that was when I was party girl. Drinking, smoking weed, other narcotics too many and too incriminating to name... Basically I was having a  great time.  I was in my early twenties and lived a wild party life. It was a magical time in my life, lots of sunshine, smiles, happy days. But it was also a  dark time in my life, as I was very confused about my future, and actually, very confused about my present.  I was in a relationship that, looking back on it, was quite destructive.  But I was young and in love and believed that love conquered all. That love lasts. But not all love does, or is meant to. Sometimes you just need to learn when to let go. I held on for too long, couldn't accept that we wouldn't be together forever, even though part of me knew that the love was fading.  But I clung on, wouldn't let go.  We had huge fights, crazy fights.  I started to doubt my sanity. I became quite depressed.  Life seemed to be this huge mystery that I couldn't unravel.  Eventually I left to go traveling.  Put my stuff in storage, thinking I'd come back after. I went traveling with the boy, but we just continued fighting our way across Asia.  When we came home to Ireland we were still hanging on, until one night we had a huge fight, and the next morning as he dropped me home,he simply said "We can't do this anymore. We can't go on.". I'll never forget that moment.  I was slightly hungover, slightly numb, so jokingly said "well, I guess we'd better break up then". As soon as I said it, the reality of those words crashed down on me, and I realized that we were breaking up.  I was sobbing getting out of the car, he was crying as well.  I walked up the driveway to my house nearly doubled over with the pain.  I didn't know how I was going to survive the pain.  It was physical.  An inability to breathe.  It was so horrible.  He stayed in Ireland for a  while longer, then he went back to SF.  I knew that my time there was done. It took me a good while longer to get over that pain.  To accept that my best friend was gone from my life.  I felt so alone.  That's when I started practicing yoga.  Some part of me recognized that I needed something to ground me.  To take me out of myself. Make me see that I wasn't alone, that I was connected to something.  Not floating in space by myself. And thats why I practice yoga.  Not to be able to put my legs behind my head, but to keep me connected.  Thats what I hold on to these days.  And it works.  Gradually over the 6 years I've been practicing, my moods have evened out, I've stabilized - although I still have my freak-outs, as my BF will testify.  Bless him.  

So it was funny going back to a city where I associate the 'old' me - the party girl, slightly depressed, confused me.  It was a flood of memories.  Bitter sweet. I used to live up near lower Haight, that was my 'hood. Being around there was strange.  If I could have peeled back the curtain of Time, and told the younger me one thing, it would be 'don't worry. It's going to be ok.  Relax and enjoy.'  When I was living there I used to say that I wished I could skim forward a few chapters in the book of my life.  Just to know that everything would be ok.  I felt that I'd be able to handle the confusion if I just knew that it would all turn out ok. And it is ok.   It's better than ok.  Life has been good to me.  

It was funny going to SF as a yogi.  Instead of going to bed at 6am, I was getting up at 6 to go to practice.  I went to the AYSF which is lovely, if you're in the city I'd definitely recommend checking them out.  Met a girl I had met in Mysore a couple of years ago - I love the small ashtanga world.  I also went to an Anna Forrest workshop and attended a vinyassa class with Rusty Wells.  Both  of them fun and informative, but as always happens when I practice a style other than ashtanga, it re-affirmed my love for our practice.  The sheer simpicity and depth of the practice blows me away.

Other than yoga, my time in SF was spent catching up with friends that still live there, lots of shopping - the weak dollar is very much in our favour, sorry! - eating and drinking.  It's a wonderful city, and there was a part of me that didn't want to leave, but the bigger part of me was ready to come home.  It's where my heart is now.  Where I'm happy.  

fuzzy wuzzy I am

Wow, it's been nearly a week since I last blogged.  Bad lady.  Well, after my elephant-poo-like practices last week, I managed to get my ass in gear on Thursday. I started my practice with an almost combative frame of mind.  I was going to conquer this damn mind of mine. And I succeeded - well, I succeeded in getting through my practice without drifting off, and that was the aim.  And after a  week of stiff practices, my body and mind settled in to it.  I also practiced Friday, even though it was a  moon day, just to make up for the lousy week.  Yesterday was good as well, I practiced, grabbing heels in kapo, but LBH's were very stiff.  I went to a backbending workshop yesterday also, and it was fun.  Did stuff like eka pada rajakapotasana which felt great- strangely.

Today's practice was so-so.  I went for dinner with the parents last night, and had a couple glasses of wine.  Normally that would be ok, but I think in conjunction with the 2 strong practices I had done, my body was over -stimulated and I slept fitfully last night. So I felt very groggy getting up. Monday is my 'kriya' day - I do vaman and neti before pranayama and practice, so that helped me to waken up.  But even after that and my practice and a yummy breakfast- blueberries, blackberries, grapes and plum with muesli and granola mix and my favourite yoghurt ever, and a cup of chai, in case you're wondering!- I still feel fuzzy. Yuck.  

monkey mind

Practice today sucked.  I felt like a big lump of elephant poo.  And that's presuming that elephant poo doesn't feel great at all.  At all at all.  Why?? I don't know.  I had thought that my body might be feeling better a couple of days after the workshop, but no, still stiff. But more importantly my focus was all over the place.  I just couldn't get into the zone at all. My monkey mind was chattering away.  And I let it.  When will I learn?  Why is it so difficult?  It's days like these that I really wish there was a  shala here to practice in.  I miss practicing with other people.  That energy.  Not allowing myself to sit on my mat and let minutes tick by, so that I don't have any time to do the LBH poses or dropbacks.  Bad lady. I know that no practice is a 'waste of time' but today really felt like it.  Should have stayed in bed and gotten the extra zzzzz's.  Maybe than I wouldn't be feeling so cranky.

And writing about it is frustrating me even more, so I'm going to sign out. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.  Sucky sucky day.

Body is sore. Mind is too strong.

Ooohh I hurt.  I went to a workshop yesterday, with a teacher a really like.  He's not an ashtangi, although he did practice it for a  while.  He also comes from an Iyengar background, and he now has his own version of the 2. It could be called vinyassa, but I feel that doesn't do it justice as it is an incredbly precise, fluid practice that he teaches.  We started off by doing about 10 sunsalutes, then moving into uttanasana from down dog, then back to down dog, and repeated that twice more.  Each time different things emphasised.  And thats how it continued.  We actually did only a few standing poses, but each sequence linked them in a different order, and we did a lot of sequences. It was interesting because depending on how the poses were linked, different things were revealed in the postures. Such as?  Well, moving into trikonasana from warrior 2, really emphasised the opening in the chest, whilst moving into trikonasana from ardha chandrasana emphaisised the stability of the legs and the extension of the arms. After the standing we did handstands, then into backbends, then padmasana lifts, balancing poses then core work.  He had started off the workshop saying that there was going to be little talk, lot of work.  He wasn't kidding. 

I really enjoyed it, but don't know if I'll hurry back into another. It really messed with my practice today, and while it was an excellent workshop, there wasn't much I could take for my practice, or for my teaching.  I woke up today thinking, "oh, I'm not sore at all today.  I'm so tough...". But then I started my practice, and the first sunsalute was a joke.  Hamstrings screamed, I nearly collapsed in my first chatturanga, up dog was tight. No grace or elegance there at all. And I didn't rise to the challenge of just staying with my breath, as my body felt too heavy and lumpen to even assimilate the postures.  But I know that is just my mind mis-leading me, because in actual fact even the LBH's were ok. Funny the power of the mind.  I was convinced my practice would be heavy and unwieldy, and it was. I gave up on it. Bad lady.  I didn't stay in the present, and let my practice unfold. Instead, I projected how I thought my practice would be and stuck to that vision.  

I think my challenge is to quieten down my mind and focus. Not letting the mind run away from me.  I'm not very good at letting things unfold.  I like certainty. I guess that's the Tauras and the dragon in me.  I struggle with it.

rhyme & reason

I love this poem.  It makes a lot of sense when I'm looking back over my life. I can see the truth in it.  So when I'm going through a kind of blue patch, like now, I think of this, and know there is a rhyme and reason.  I don't know what's up with me, part of it is hormonal, for sure, but I also just feel a  bit low. I can be a  melancholy person, so I tend to wallow.  But then there are things like this poem that remind me to have faith.

Rumi - Guest House
"This being human is a guest house
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond."

falling slowly

Ladies holiday as of today!  Yay! except I still had to get up stupid and early to teach.  I wanna lie in! dammit.  As I have no practice news I'll leave you with a song I'm obsessed  by at the moment.  I know that it won the Oscar, so it might be overplayed, but it's so beautiful.  And if you haven't seen the film yet, go watch.  It's really sweet. 

sweet Wednesday

So far this week, practice has been surprisingly nice.  Body feels open, mind is connected to breath, and I've had a few days of an 'ahhh' feeling after practice.  I'm worried about what tomorrow will bring, cos you know that good shit ain't gonna last. But, God, you gotta love it when it's there.  Hamstrings feel loose, even the dodgy left one.  Backbending is nice, I've grabbed heels in kapotasana every day, and yesterday I even touched my toes on the descent.  First time that I did that by myself.  I've  grabbed my ankles on the descent with help, which felt freaky but ok. But no way could I reproduce that by myself.  Dropbacks were ok, no major change.  The LBH's were also ok, bit better than usual. But that is a slow road for me. Pincha is coming, again slowly, but definitely closer than before. 

We had a photo shoot in the studio yesterday, as we are getting some pr done. So myself and the BF did some poses.  He did the funky balancing ones, and I did the bendy stuff.  But my body is feeling it today.  I did a lot of kapotasanas, drop backs, eka padas.  Very intense.  Combine that with teaching 3 classes and it made for a tired lady last night. But yay it's Wednesday! Friday off! Double yay! 

No other news.  Mothers day this Sunday, but I have a  workshop on in the afternoon so I'll head out  in the evening to pay my respects to my lovely mother.  Bless her. She's a great woman. 

sweet Wednesday

ramblings....

Oh lordy I'm a tired!  No particular reason I'm afraid, no madly exciting reason for my tiredness.  I did only get about 6 hours sleep last night, as was up watching movie past midnight, then up at 7.30 to practice.  Practice this morning was so-so.  I was on a  sharp timetable, as we had a  christening to go to this morning, and normally being on a limited time frame is good for me as it makes me focus.  Not this morning tough.  Oh no.  Did my pranayama with no delays, and started out my practice well, with good focus, but once I started second, the drifting started.  Even though I knew that I didn't have time for it, the mind wandered.  Bad lady.  Without the focus of awareness and strong connection to breath, my practice is just stretching.  No yoga. It feels completely different to when I practice with awareness. Need to stop drifting.  But that is the danger of home practice.  For me there is no major problem about getting up to practice, the problem is the awareness during practice. Thats why I love practicing in a  shala, for that energy.  Tis a precious thing.  That's part of the reason I started this blog, to give me a sense of belonging to a community. 

Physically, my practice today was fine.  Sunday is never the easiest day, after a day off, but I make up in energy what I lack in flexibility.  And as the practice continued my body opened up to it.  Laghu felt lovely and easy, the legs stayed strong throughout.  Kapotasana I grabbed my heels, but again with the focus on keeping my hips lifted, resulting in my elbows not touching the floor.  The LBHs were the usual.  No worse, no better.  Oh I long for the day when they feel comfortable, not claustrophobic.  Pincha was ok, I kicked up and held it without using the wall. Progress is happening.  Drop backs were not so good.  The first one was nice, felt nice and controlled, stayed in the legs, but for some reason after that I lost the legs, and relied on feet turning out -i.e lower back working excessively- to propel myself up.  If I'd had more time I would have done more to stop that bad habit, but I didn't have time, so I guess that's tomorrows project.  My lower back is flexible, so I rely on that to do my work, slowly slowly I'm trying to change that.

After a super short savasana, out to shower, brekkie, make myself look fancy, then out the door to church. All by 11am.  Pretty impressive in my world. Now I'm on the couch, after having a little nap, trying to decide what to have for dinner. I'm not feeling very inspired.  Also, the BF is back to being sick boy after a not so fabulous meal on Friday night.  Poor darlin. And here we are again, on the cusp of another week. Wow time flies.  Mortality seems so obvious now, in a way that it wasn't 10 years ago.  Getting older I guess. sigh.

no news

Continuing on from yesterday, I started my practice with a dedication to my aunt and repeated my 'focus' mantra. It worked for most of the practice.  I've been looking over yoga mala again, so I was focused on the correct vinyassas today, not taking any extra breaths. It was all good until laghu vajrasana.  Then I had to take a couple of extra breaths, and again before kapotasana.  But I was able to grab my heels today which was good.  However I was keeping my hips lifted whilst in the pose, so as not to crunch my lower back, and I wasn't able to get my elbows to the floor. But that's ok. My upper back is still all tight from when I tweaked it.  The LBH poses were the usual, no news there.  I kicked up into pincha without touching the wall, and held it for just a couple of breaths, but I am starting to get a feel for the pose, and can see it's arrival in my not too distant future.  I did my drop backs but they just didn't feel as comfortable as yesterdays. My sacrum was buzzing in a nervy way.  But at least the thumping head rush I used to get after doing them has stopped appearing.  

And thats that.  Tomorrow is a moon day, which I'm grateful for, as I'm back on my full schedule of classes this week. It's tiring, but all will change in a months time.  I love teaching, but at the moment I'm doing 15 a week, with a lot of travel, and combine that with a strong practice, I sometimes feel very drained.  But hey, whose life is perfect? And on the whole I love my life.  I do think it funny when I stand back and look at my life, how different it is from 10 years ago.  It just goes to show, there's no point in stressing about the future, because life unfolds in ways you can't imagine. Faith.

Ah, this is why we do it

Practice today was a  surprise.  I was on a limited time frame as I had set my alarm for the wrong time, so I knew that I didn't have time for any zoning out.  So I did my pranayama, then after the opening chant I dedicated my practice to my aunt who is very sick, and repeated my 'focus' mantra. Oh the start of my practice was so stiff.  One of those where touching my toes seems impossible.  Even after the full 10 sun salutes I still felt like I was made of concrete.  But I soldiered on, catching my awareness when it had drifted and coming back to the breath.  Even krounchasana felt foreign.  But still I continued. Enjoying the focus and rhythm of my breath, I resigned my self to a stiff practice and just enjoyed it regardless. Kapotasana I just touched my toes as I wimped out of pushing myself  any further.  Hey there have to be some benefits to a home practice! The LBH poses were, surprise surprise, stiff. I also took it relatively easy on myself for eka pada, I held the foot in place on both sides as I didn't want to strain my neck/shoulder any more. But again I managed to kind of jump into the pose which is great. A wee bit of progress is always appreciated. The tittibhasana sequence floored me as I haven't done it since Thursday and I find it so tough.  I just want to lie on the floor in a foetal position after doing it.  But pincha mayurasana was a surprise.  I actually kicked up without the wall and hed it for 8 breaths! Now that was just a fluke, but it shows it is possible. Then dropbacks were actually nice.  By really tucking in my tailbone, drawing shoulders down the back, and arching my chest as though going over a  beach ball, I can feel the lower back lengthen and it doesn't pinch. I'm also doing this thing that an Iyengar teacher told me to do, which is once I've arched back, to stretch my arms overhead  and hang there for a moment, and I can really feel the psoas muscle stretch doing that.  It also makes my descent much more controlled, and keeps it in my legs, so that when I go to come up, I'm using my quads rather than relying on feet turning out.  Ah so lovely! 

So after my practice I felt great.  Nothing spectacular about it, it was a  stiff practice, but I felt so centered after it.  Mind was quiet, and I just felt that connection to the universal. Must remember : more focus = happy practice. And it really brought it home to me, that it really doesn't matter about the physical appearance of the asana. We don't need to strive for a  better looking practice, or yearn for the next posture.  We need to connect to the practice on the subtle level, and therein lies the beauty of the ashtanga practice.

Ahimsa

So no practice yesterday as I was feeling quite tired from night before, and too lazy too get my ass into gear.  Bad lady.

But then todays practice was quite lame as my shoulder is still quite achy.  I started off thinking I might just do standing, but then I felt ok so I kept going.  The mind was terribly unfocused tho, lots of stopping and staring into space.  And I stopped at kapotasana as my upper back was too stiff to open into the pose, and I know that it's too much on my lower back to do the pose that way. So I did a few urdhva danurasanas, tried to do shoulderstand, but that a definite no-go, so lay in viparati kirani for a while then did the final 3 postures.  But there is something up with my knees at the moment.  I haven't gone into urdhva padmasana for quite a while as there is a horrible crunching noise from my knees as I go in to it, so I just cross my legs for that sequence.  Then the final 3 I don't always go into padmasana as I'm a bit fearful of stressing out the knees some more.  The BF had knee surgery a year ago, and I really don't want to go down that route. So I'm practising ahimsa, and hoping it will all sort itself out.  

Speaking of The BF, he's still not feeling well after his exorcist experience, and in the beginning I was being a good girlfriend, and nursing him.  But now he's driving me a  bit batty.  I'm a  horrible person I know, but I can be quite dismissive of man sickness.  I really feel that women are so much stronger.  Oh but I need to stop being a bitch. Ahimsa.  AMntra for the next while methinks.

home sweet home

So I surprised myself yesterday and practiced.  I went in to the room feeling like shit, and was very tempted to just veg on couch in front of v, but I knew that I should at least try and practice.  So I made a deal with myself that I would see how I felt after the first couple of sunsalutes.  If I still felt like crap, then I would stop and go to couch .  But during my first one my body felt open and I knew that I would be ok.  So I did my whole practice.  And you know what?  It was a really nice practice. I still felt a bit numb from the booze, so my mind was quiet and there was an element of ease throughout.  Maybe because I was expecting nothing from my practice that day it gave me lots in return. Kapotasana wasn't so great, but I don't usually push myself in it.  I can grab my heels by myself no problem usually, but there are some days that my back just does not want to do it.  I do think part of it is a mental block transferring to a physical block - it feels like I really  cannot do the pose on those days - and in that regard I think that it is good to push myself to overcome it.  But on the other hand it is a very intense backbend and combine that with the LBH poses, I think its a lot for my poor ol' sacrum to be dealing with.  So I do feel that there is a genuine physical reason to not push myself.  I did a  workshop with Richard Freeman last year and there were a couple of second series practitioners there with serious back issues. And he advised that it is not necessarily a good thing to do postures like kapotasana every day. It should be spread out over the week.  Thats how they all learned it back in the day.  Now I know that some people would disagree with this approach, and who knows what is the 'correct' way, but this is the way that I do it.  I'd say about 3 out of 5 practices I get hands to heels, the other 2 times I touch my toes. It's not an issue for me, as I have the LBH poses to occupy my time.  Yesterday they actually felt ok.  I still did eka pada twice, but the second time actually felt reasonably comfortable.  Foot stayed behind the head on both sides throughout the sequence. Normally I have to hold the left foot in place. I even managed to jump in to it! Vaguely. Better then I used to anyway.   Dropbacks were lovely.  I found by keeping weight forward in my legs more, I was able to get a deeper arch, and could see my heels on the descent. Slowly slowly.....

Todays practice was so so. Poor BF was up all night puking his guts out, so I felt quite groggy on the mat. But it was fine.  Apart from the fact I tweaked my neck and the muscles feel locked.  I think it was in setu bandha, but I only felt it when I lifted up into urdva danurasana.  Now its quite sore. But this happens from time to time.  I definitely have imbalances between the 2 sides of my body and yoga is helping with them, but from time to time tweaks happen. Ah well, what to do?...

Now for a  lovely restful Friday night.  I had a  facial earlier which was lovely, I've just made some banana muffins, so I'm going to have one now with a cup of tea, then make dinner and watch a  movie with sick boy. I love my home!

The big drift

Oh dear.  My blog is less than a week old and I've already lapsed in writing.  Oops.  Better warn you right now that this will not be a regular blog.

So, practice wise it's been an average week. Nothing new or wonderful to report.  I have been very tired this week, so my practice has been quite lethargic. And distracted also.  That is a big danger for me.  I will get up to practice, but then will sit on my mat for a while, drifting off, and then start late and have to rush through my practice, or else drift off in the middle, and then have to rush through the rest of it.  Must stop that.  

I haven't yet practiced today -bad lady I know!  I'm feeling a bit groggy as yesterday was our- the BF and me-  anniversary and we both took the day off work to hang out together.  we had such a lovely day! We had pancakes for breakfast - always a good start- then went for a lovely walk, then afternoon tea in a cute little teashop.  Then back home to get changed to go out for dinner.  We went to a restaurant that was part of a hotel, and I didn't have high expectations  for the interior, thought it might be real country hotel design, but it was gorgeous! Real old school, not in the slightest bit trendy,but very cosy.  And the food was fabulous.  Then we went to a classical concert in an old church.  It was mind-blowingly beautiful.  Transcendent. 

All in all a magical day.  But a couple of glasses of wine and a pint o' Guinness and I am quite hungover.  So I got up to practice, but sat on the mat for a while, then decided to do my pranayama, and then sat and drifted off some more, until it got too late to start my practice, so I figured I'd practice in the afternoon.  Hmmmm, but will I? That is the question.....

Sunshine on a happy day

Oh how amazing it is to have some sunshine and warmth! You almost forget what it is like to have a  bright, warm day, and how everything seems so much nicer in the sunshine.  All the windows in the apartment are open, there's a gentle breeze coming through, and all is well in my world.  And seeing as it's only early February, it's Ireland, it's completely unexpected.  We're all set for another couple of months of shitty weather.  And last year we had a  whole summer of crappy rain. I definitely feel like I was born in the wrong country at times.  I'm a  sunshine babe.  And now I have a lovely Saturday ahead of me.   I've finished teaching, am going to have a  late lunch now- avocado on toast in case you're interested-, and then head up to the city later to meet my friend for dinner and movie.  And tomorrow I have no plans, which I love.  The BF is going to a  gig with friends and staying out, so I'm home alone tonight which I also like.  I miss him of course, but I do like being myself.  And him not being beside me in bed makes it so much easier to roll out tomorrow morning to practice. 

Damn it, life is goooddd. Bring it on. 

Friday, how I love thee...

Thank crunchie it's Friday.  I love love lovvvvveee Fridays. They're my Saturday, as I actually work Saturdays.  But Friday is r & r.  Also, it's primary only day in my practice, which is such a  comfort.  At this stage primary is like  an old friend that I don't get to see very often, but with whom I used to spend a lot of time. So when Friday rolls around I really look forward to my practice.  And today was lovely.  Not that anything amazingly wonderful or different happened, actually I felt rather stiff and heavy during practice, but it was just lovely to move through the practice with comfort. With my breath. To not be inwardly quivering and dreading the LBH poses.  But maybe because I was treating it as 'only primary', it kind of kicked my ass. I'd forgotten how tiring all the vinyasas are, and had forgotten how much second opens up my back. So when it came time for backbending, I did 4, and was going to quit. My back felt stiff and tight. So I gave up. Did paschiomattanasana and everything.  Then I gave myself I pep talk, told myself not to be so lame and such a  wimp, and so I went back into backending mode and did dropbacks.  I wish I could say they felt amazing.  But they didn't.  However I was very glad that I did them, as even though my back is relatively open, I still don't enjoy them, and I often wimp out of them.  But no longer! Now that I have this blog I am using it as incentive to  not be a wimp. Kind of like a report card. Otherwise days could go by, and not a  dropback in sight.

So now I go have dinner, and veg in front of tv. Am very tired for some reason, and am looking forward to some chillout time.

One more time.....yay for Fridays! Yahoo!

christening day!

Ok.  After being a reader of yoga blogs for the last year, I have finally decided to bite the bullet and write my own. Why? Well, mainly because I want to document my practice.  At the moment it feels like nothing is really happening or changing, but I know it HAS to be different today than how it was this time last year. I also realized that I had gotten a  lot of helpful insights into different aspects of the practice through reading others' blogs, and so I decided to return the favour. Join the community. 

I've nothing to report about my practice today as today is a moon day -bless it!- but I do intend to go into my practice room shortly to do my pranayama practice and work on pincha mayurasana - the bane of my life. Well, that and the LBH poses. Sigh. Maybe this time next year I will have new things to bitch about.  I hope so. Eka Pada has been a constant complaint for over  a year now.   There is a tiny bit of progress being made, but I still feel so claustrophobic in that and Dwi Pada.  Yoga nidrasana I actually like. 

But I know that I go easy on myself in practice. You see, I am a solo practitioner. There is no shala or teacher I can go to here. I go to workshops whenever they're on -about twice a  year- and visit my teacher once or twice a  year.  The rest of the time its just me and my mat.  And its been great.  A strong lesson in self-discipline. I just have to roll out of bed in the morning and head into the room next door to practice.  No commute or nasty weather to deal with.  It makes it really powerful any time I do practice with others.  I get to have breakfast and shower at home.  But I also miss out on the energy of a  group practice.  Of having that daily connection with  a teacher who will give me a gentle kick up the arse when I'm being lazy. But on the whole I'm really happy with my self-practice. Because that is what it has become.  A self-practice. Just me and my mat.  Every day the same.  Every day different.